I do find it odd to say "I'm proud of you for doing the dishes". 1. Get your facts straight. I have a little brother who is rather insecure and jealous of me, a very controlling person that thinks having a relationship with each other means that I put up with him trying to make me feel less than in the power scheme, which is precisely why I totally avoid him My YOUNGER brother about my creative talents has to say..I am extremely proud of you..for a bit, this has thrown me off, and I was not able to quite articulate how this really got under my skin, why I did a search on the phrase and have been thinking about itand yeah, it does seem a major insult when an emotionally uncool person whose relationship with you should be on equal terms has to act like a parent, always making a show of being the bigger man saying boy, I am so proud of you. 12. 25. I cannot tell you how happy I am, for her, to witness her achievement and how much I admire her tenacity in overcoming all she has. But, why does the response "me too" sound natural in response to "I am glad to meet you". I'm so much proud of you for completing your graduation and wish you will succeed in every . No. It's a way of congratulating someone for having accomplished something impressive. You certainly will. Required fields are marked *. I can see a peer, a spouse, or even a child saying that to someone who got a new deserved promotion, for instance. So - when a parent says, "Im so proud of you", is the parent taking the credit for the childs accomplishments? And now, that you have the other responses to I am proud of you, you can share the same based on whos saying this and after which event. She and I are both married. "I know you have a lot going on . 2. 8. Might as well as them to stop saying yall or bless her heart.. http://pbskids.org/rogers/songLyricsImProudOfYou.html. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. Refresher workshop for P.E.T. You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. The only people there who went to university were the pharmacist, the physician/surgeon, lab technologist, x-ray technician and the like, as well as the school teachers. July 7, 2020 April 21, 2018 Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. Friend: "At least you have a job or daughter.". It is a feeling of relief and it was all worth while you bringing them up properly. I knew it, if no one was going to like this. Oh.. very good. Pretty much an entire generation of American kids heard it from Mr. Rogers. So happy for us! Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means they're happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. I have always struggled with this word. This will help to create a bond between the two of you and will strengthen your relationship. For doing what Im supposed to do? And, here are the respectful replies to respond with: 1. In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration and respect for you and that can be a powerful thing. I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. The phrase that has always hit me hardest, however, has been "I'm proud of you." Someone saying that they're proud of you implies that, not only are they impressed by what you do and who you are, they also want others to know it. Here are some examples of what you shouldn't say to someone on their sober anniversary. 17. Your friend wants to say "I am proud of you too, my friend". Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. Its obviously a powerful word. You must log in or register to reply here. As your friend I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. For me, this was a huge take-away moment. Go To Homepage. Thank you. Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! So, how should we respond to Im proud of you? In this research, children of parents who never said "I'm proud of you" were significantly more likely to contemplate, plan or attempt suicide. 4. Because of this, it might feel awkward to say "I'm proud of you" to a friend or colleague, even if you mean it. "We will always remember. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. It reaffirms the choice you made is good and right, nothing more. But arguing about what words mean is pointless- meanings vary. Thank you., Im honored that youre proud of me. The rest were manual labourers. Be proud that you are here. Ah. Which brings me to my next point. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. For even more than mentors, but for people who deserve your care and attention in life. Don't remind them how far they've come. The parent might have paid a lot of money, or given up time, to coach and practice tennis with their winning child. Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. My sons grew up together and are spaced two years apart. Disclaimer: The articles, blogs, testimonials and P.E.T. [Chorus] They say redemption's on your mind when you think about . 11. 2. You have always been there for me and our friendship is something that will never go away. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? . You reject that person's generosity. And Ill encourage them to be proud. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. The way you _____ is such a perfect addition for our family. Home / How Do I Respond To Im proud of you? 2. Its powerful. Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. If you're more than a friend it's more loving. But, it can also be a bit overwhelming because it puts the spotlight on us and can make us feel exposed. Proverbs 18:12 Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, but humility goes before honor. Its very presumptuous. But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. We all have people in our lives who make us feel special, appreciated, and respected. I was damned proud of her for overcoming this setback and told her so. All Rights Reserved. What Does It Mean When Someone Says I'm Proud Of You? I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. Were brothers, dont you forget that! Please contact info@parentskills.com.au for further information. That makes you a living miracle. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. 2. Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. I dont think my children have any problem with this because they know, in many other ways, I love them dearly. They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. 6. Without you, I couldnt do it. My mother said it to me when I graduated from college and I will never forget it. Image used under license from Shutterstock, research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you", protective role in a their child's mental health, Should Children And Parents Be Friends? I dislike the phrase entirely, regardless of how we are involved in the individuals life: parent, teacher, mentor, etc. At the same time, the paper stated that "a key is to ensure that children feel positively connected to their parents and family," and that parents needed to demonstrate to their children that "they cared about them", that they "had their back". I know Im a couple of years behind, but was thinking about it this morning. 2. "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." - C.S Lewis 2. If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. Thats the response I was expecting from you. The important thing is to reach out and let the person know that they matter to you. 4. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre also taking advantage of the power of positive reinforcement. 15. Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. When someone knows that you are not only proud, but you are inspired and amazed, it will be an even better compliment. Here are some examples of ways you can respond to Im proud of you: These responses will show your appreciation for their words and will help to strengthen your relationship. I wouldnt get anxious about it. "How I do love you!" The Mindset of the Ambitious Educational Elite, Thinking Clearly about a Persons Substance Amidst Stylistic Differences, On Intentionally Vague, Mystique-Infused Explanations of Talent, Book Notes: Lost & Found by Kathryn Shulz, Mindfulness of Consciousness Meditation Retreat. We had a really nice time. Partner: "You think you have a lot going on, let me tell you . If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. 24. 3. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. I was excited to see your reaction. Achieving your goals will help you stay motivated, inspire you to set and achieve more, and increase confidence. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Its also important to remember the power of positive reinforcement and the benefits of responding with gratitude. Overall, seeing your parents, family and loved ones are proud of you, is a great compliment. by Carolyn Steber. Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. Updated: Dec. 11, 2020. 14. When I tell my kids Im proud they are surprised and pleased. Thanks for making us proud. Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. Express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude. When someone says Im proud of you, they are investing in you and putting themselves out there. I again said. Likewise, these are special, cute, and funny replies when someone says I am proud of you and you dont know what to respond next. Im so happy to have you in my life, thanks! 26. Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. . What, do you really? Isnt she elevating herself above me to oversea my behaviors to make sure I was a good little girl? He may not have been able to think of something better or funny so he settled for that. Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. Ben Casnocha It is a darn good thing that you wrote your opinion; that I found it tonight, and that comments continue to be accepted. If parents don't 'approve' of their child, then they disapprove. Well, thats what we are going to share in this post. Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. Why is your manager taking credit for the work you put into the report? 13. In this sense, a mentor is a parent that you choose, and the desire for his or her love and approval is as natural as the desire for that of a parents pride. . It means she feels proud for what you've done or achieved. A very concise and articulate post. Who are children then living their life for - themselves, or their parent? Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend? "You make me so mad.". It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Thats what I think. An FBI witness says that members of the far-right Proud Boys had hoped to assassinate Vice President Mike Pence and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi during last week's violent storming of the U.S . It's important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. 1 y. If these 10 phrases come up often, they're signs he doesn't want a relationship with you, and you should move on with someone who can be the person you deserve. What if you really are proud of the person? How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". (a short read). Oh, youre one of my trusted supporters! But what exactly does this phrase mean and how should you respond to it? I think the phrase Im proud of you is insulting, for the reasons noted above. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. The other three sound as if you're saying you're proud of yourself too. If that's the case, I suggest a change of phrase. No matter who they are, they all have one thing in common they make us feel loved. Renew your PET skills; complete the full course over flexible times; or one-off parenting sessions. If you're an ex-smoker, you can draw from your own experience of quitting. Its 10 years later, and I hope that, by now, you have told your children, if you mean it, that you are proud of them. This is what makes the difference in whether the receiver feels great or resentful. All rights reserved. About 5 years ago, an ex college girlfriend and I began emailing each other occasionally (not often just once every 2-3 months or so). Make sure to take the time to think about how you want to respond. A: It's not necessarily wrong to take pride in our work, of course; if we don't, our work will probably end up sloppy or incomplete. If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. Thanks. Initially this sit didnt sit well with me. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. Self-doubt can make it hard to accept compliments and to express gratitude for the words of others. Had I ever thought about the meaning behind these words? They just say it. It can be something big or something small it doesnt matter, because the phrase is used to show their appreciation for your efforts and accomplishments. Ive had multiple people tell me theyre proud of me like my parents, grandparents, elders but it just doesnt mean anything to me, I dont have any emotional response from any of them and my response ends up being ok or yup. A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. With the best of intentions, we want to let our children know of our pride in them. Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can help to encourage and motivate people. A person receiving this praise could also feel belittled it could feel as though their achievement was unexpected - a surprise to the other person. Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote Yea, Thank you is not the only response. 6. Glad that I keep our family tradition alive. 3. Thats why we feel pride in our childrens accomplishments. I may never know but you can simply ask him if you question the genuineness in his response. My husband just said it to me a couple of days ago (for a little achievement I just made in my physique) and it made me happy as well. We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. "Well," you respond with enthusiasm, "I'm so excited right now. Love you so much. Be proud of who you are. This post was actually very helpful for me! When somebody says that you are wrong: "You are entitled to your incorrect opinion." To each his own. Our children need to know that we believe in them, that we trust them, that we support them, that we love them, that we acknowledge them as individuals separate from us. When someone says Im proud of you, first of all thanking them is the common response we usually have. I was irritated by that remark. until recently when a Goddaughter won an amazing internship, beating 2000 other applicants, and her other Godmother put a message on Facebook saying how proud she was of her. He loves to share his unique perspectives and ways to make everyday conversations a bit 'lively'. Last week, I went back to my college homecoming without my wife. Its a way of saying I see the hard work youve put in and I appreciate it. I can point them out to my friends and say, Those are my sons!. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. Congratulations to our dearest son. Family Tree. 03:48. You have overcome something you may not had confidence in yourself to succeed. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. I grew up being complimented for my looks . If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. Your email address will not be published. Stay in the know when we release new content! Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. I live about 200 miles from the old college & she lives in the same town as the college is located. He thinks you're absolutely wonderful and he's pumped to be in a relationship with you; it's written all over his face. Posted articles do not constitute advice or recommendations. Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. And that's how I arrived at the "I'm Proud of You" litmus test. . Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. Is it OK to respond to "I am proud of you" with "Me to", "So do I", and "I am too", and "I am proud of you too"? Of course, the child may feel really pleased to hear this positive evaluation of their efforts. "I know someone in recovery". Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. But I would also add another category: people who know you well *because* they have worked with you and even for you for a long time. Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. I have always seen it as, Ive been there, done that, and think you have done it too.. She reciprocated. After all, you were the one who put the effort into writing the report you did the research, you put the paper together. 2. They seem to make him quite happy. 10. In what context? Well done!. They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. I say it often to former students. Fascinating post in two regards. But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. The important piece is if they are genuine in their caring (and have been consistent, contrary to the parent that was never there but then feels pride). 20 of the Best Encouraging Words that Hold any Caregivers Up 06 "Tim, I keep wondering what Dad would say if he were alive right now. The Psychology of Bragging. 2014, 2016, 2019. Then there's emotional attraction. 5. They have everything to do with your strength, and what you've endured. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude has many benefits. 1. This will show your appreciation for their support and will help to strengthen your relationship. said Christopher Robin. Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). Oh, thank you, friend. Although its worth taking a mental note of that in case a pattern does develop. But to be proud of them? As if Im mentally retarded and reading a book for the first time in my life, and hoping to get a cookie and a star sticker. Its my feeling that I should only express pride in something Ive accomplished. I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. I am very proud of you too; we all are. Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. William, however, was too proud and too obstinate to lend himself to such a course. I believe the effort has been worth it for my children, and our relationship. The phrase "Im proud of you" insinuates that the speaker (parent, teacher, co-worker, boss) has more experience, or power, or in some manner has the right to pronounce their opinion, on someone elses effort. Approval is a parent's judgement of a child's choices - and to a child, this feels like a judgement of them as a person. We love all of our readers and we want to you to know how much youre appreciated! Well, that truly makes my day. I believe you. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All Rights Reserved. 11. For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? He's proud of you. I thought to myself, who is she to be proud of me? 7. 3. There are some super special and engaging responses you can give when someone very close to you, says that theyre proud of you. The child has done well enough for the parent to bring out the big guns the proud word. Lets see where we can go with this. You are taking joy in someone else doing good. But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. Thanks! I was very irritated and angry. And, that nearest person could be your parents, partner, or friends. Bless me that I keep doing bigger things than this. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see, 43 Motivational Messages For Hard Working Boyfriend, funny excuses to ask for money from your parents, How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, 9 Best Answers To How Was Your Interview?, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 18 Best Responses To Backhanded Compliments On Social Media. 4. It is arrogant. The proud feeling transcends from child to parent. It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. I avoid "well done" or "good job" for all the reasons Ive stopped saying "Im proud of you". However what messages might our children actually hear? Thank you for your kind words.. As in, he's purely attracted to your appearance. You could also feel patronised. A 2017 analysis of 2012 national data from the US, showed that parent behaviour could have a protective role in a their child's mental health. In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. Happy I did it, finally! Paul urged his young companion Timothy to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed" (2 Timothy 2:15). She continually updates her course with new examples and relevant material from the latest research. This expression is much more self-focused, i.e. 3. A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. Kids also like to know that they invoke parental prideas long as it genuine! Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Living with a parents disapproval, or continually seeking a parents approval, is a life-long burden. Youre the most amazing parents and thank you for believing in me. Often the 'I'm proud of you' I get from strangers includes an unwanted and inappropriate familiarity, a hug a bit too long or a bit too hard, a knowing look and more emphasis on the 'I' than the 'you' in the 'I . 9. JavaScript is disabled. It's a pleasure to congratulate you on this lovely moment. If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". Because this was someone elses idea. She texted back that I make her smile and that shes proud of me. . These two simple words"I care"can mean so much to a person who may be feeling like the entire world is against them. I feel virtually murderous towards them. If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude for their words. Talents Compliments. If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? 2. The administrator takes no responsibility for any action or outcome a reader may make as a result of reading a post. Try either "I'm happy for you!" or, what I find more accurate, "You bring me joy." "You bring me joy," communicates the sentiment nicely. By the fifth repeat of the painting, the response from him mother may quite different from the first. What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. I'll help with whatever you need to make it . Basically, its an ambiguous expression. Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant! Who is saying this to whom? They can be in dictionaries but over time can have slightly different meanings depending how they are used. I think you deserve the credit for this all. Second, he must know you well. If youve finally graduated or youre the first one who got an A + in your entire family, your parents express how proud and happy you make them. 2. One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. Great to hear this. And Im so ashamed of you. 27. They know I mean: I am so impressed by what you did, and proud to be able to call myself your mother. If I said this to a friend it would mean the same thing. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful Thanks. "Im proud of you!" So we arranged to have her drive to the hotel where I was staying and we drove there together. Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. My former partner just recently told me that he was proud of me after major accomplishment. In what context. The insiders felt they were all superior to newcomers, no matter what the newcomers backgrounds were. This is when his feelings go deeper than the surface, and he genuinely cares about you as a person. They include: courage, commitment, imagination and compassion, and oh yes, patience -- lots of it -- because it doesn't happen overnight.
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