I think what everyone is saying is that most likely outcome is that there are no problems at all. All the time, the baby was kicking and I felt like a murderer waiting to strike her victim. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. Had 34wk scan last week and all is well - of all the babies found to have a two vessel cord, was told less than 6% experience any growth issues etc. At first the closeness came through a sense of guilt. I had no idea if we were doing the "right" thing. So he went out for a walk. When he came back, he agreed on a termination. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. So it was just, we were coming up to the 20-week scan and I was just getting more relaxed, just actually starting to look at maybe baby catalogues or, you know, going down the baby aisle at the shops, which I'd always avoided. Do you have any thoughts about that? He looked excited. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. Originally I hadn't wanted to go down that road. I managed to tell my mum, who said she would come with us to the hospital. Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier . And I said, I was still laughing, and I thought he was joking with me, and he said now I sort of could tell from his face that by that point he wasn't really joking anymore. And then I can't remember an awful lot more about that scan apart from that feeling of searching of how to react in an unknown situation - your brain's kind of trying to work out what to say, what to do, but I had no idea what to say or what to do and I think my first thought was, does that mean our first daughter's okay? We'd just spent some time away on a, on a summer holiday and come back expecting to have this scan and be told, 'All fine. Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. So we decided that, to have the scan and we went along I think early in the week for that, and spent quite a lot of time with the consultant after that. I pray it's just her heart but I can't see anything else is wrong as I have been scanned by a consultant since I was 14 weeks and every time he has said everything looks okay and she is growing consistently. I remained positive, we researched lots of cases of mistaken dates, inconclusive scans, and compared them to our situation; scrutinising everything to try and believe it was all one big misunderstanding. She didn't want to see the baby. So I was a bit ignorant of the kind of things, you know, what the scans were really doing - maybe it was, a bit na've I think. I broke down and started hitting my disgusting body that had done this. The chances that anything bad will be discovered are v v small. The scan will look in detail at your babys bones, heart, brain, spinal cord, face, kidneys and abdomen. This publication is available at https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/screening-tests-for-you-and-your-baby/11-physical-conditions-20-week-scan. I felt the dread run through me. No one else but my partner saw how similar he was to our son. Thanks girls, it's amazing how protected our babies are in there isn't it?! It was far too much power; neither of us wanted it. So and you could see the exomphalus, this little pouch, which was obviously just the intestines where they are. The pain was excruciating, but nothing compared to how I felt inside. It was over. And that, that was when things where it started going a bit wrong. Again the legs were quite twisted, they said that the baby's sternum was very short - things weren't in proportion you know - the head was quite large, the neck was very thick, there wasn't really like a neck as such it was just things were kind of - there were lots of things that obviously the consultant could see that we weren't aware of. Health professionals use the 18-20 week scan to examine the baby's size and position, and also to check if his/her brain, heart, lungs and other internal organs are developing as expected. The contractions started very quickly and within an hour my waters had broken. Severe chromosomal conditions such as Edwards' syndrome are now often picked up in the first trimester antenatal screening but itwill usually be more obviousat the 18- 20 week scan, though usually a firm diagnosis will not be made until one or two specialists have weighed up all available evidence about the baby - which usually means that another expert needs to scan the baby again, or until the woman has had an amniocentesis. He then told us what the prognosis would mean for the child. The same rush of excitement. I was then told yet again bad news. The baby kicked, blissfully unaware of what I had done. All women are offered a dating scan, and an 18- 20 week fetal anomaly ultrasound scan, in line with NICE and UK National Screening Committee recommendations. This article was amended on 24 November 2015 to anonymise the writer. Only this time, no cry came. We went, I went in to the scanning room and they're quite bland facially anyway, whether everything's fine or not they just look at the screen to start off with and do measurements but I very quickly realised that the woman's demeanour wasn't, even for a bland face, was concerning. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. So instead, I was advised to go home and let nature take its course. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. By 7pm, I still hadn't delivered the baby. It wasn't measuring at all the right measurements for the age - there was a heart defect, the limbs were sort of distorted, the arms were, you know - you could see that the arms were very sort of contracted, the hands were contracted. I tried to show him the notes and the photos. It was just sort of deadpan faces, very serious looks, someone else coming to check. I was told that while bad news at the 12 w scan is often of the life or death kind, bad news at the 20 week scan is often of the 'needs an operation in childhood' or 'needs to wear a brace for a year' kind. I remember thinking, 'that doesn't look quite right'. Back on the EPU unit, a doctor organised for me to be admitted into the ward, to take the medical management under supervision as the sac was now to big for me to safely miscarry on my own at home. I couldn't bring myself to push. And in this instance the scan was very evident that there was something very seriously wrong. Not surprisingly, people aren't quite sure how to deal with me. She asked me how far gone I thought we were, and if I could have been mistaken. We just couldn't use the words. I had no issues at my 20wk scan with DD - and neither did any of my antenatal group (9 mums). Most scans are carried out by specially trained staff called sonographers. It can be such a shock so do whatever you need to feel better. (See. Could she possibly have something that's not been detected? He was tiny, perfect and a Down's syndrome baby. The "why me?" [Husband] couldn't make it. We've got the same battle scars. Having the scan does not hurt but the sonographer may need to apply slight pressure to get the best views of your baby. The scan can provide information that may mean you have to make further, important decisions. And I remember, the first thing I remember when something might be wrong, was I saw, I finally, we finally saw an image of the skull on the screen, and there appeared to be a sort of black hole shape in the middle. We had to discuss what we wanted to do with the little body after delivery. No, we really didn't, with hindsight we probably should have, but not at all, it never occurred to us to be worried about it. The thing about that which I felt was difficult is that we could tell when being scanned that there was something very seriously wrong. It's been a heartbreaking nightmare. I am a darker, harder version of myself. So we hid in our house. 13/12/2020 20:45. And as soon as she said those words, both of us were like, 'Well what's wrong?'. The baby was very, very small. Thick milky discharge at 14 weeks.tmi pic attached. Please ask your hospital about this before your appointment. So I lay on the bed and my partner sat next to me. I'm trying to understand because I haven't seen a 3-D scan, what it tells the parents? The doctor explained the options I had to manage my miscarriage. He suggested he perform an amniocentesis immediately, to rule out any chromosomal problems. It took 20 minutes to push him out. As you felt that, you know, it was probably going to show lots of problems and it just wasn't what we wanted, but at the same time we needed to sort of see it and, we needed to prove it I suppose. I thought surely everything is ok, as they couldn't detect twins the week before. That he - I think I was 21 weeks and 3 days, and he was coming up at 19 weeks and 4 days, or something like that. Smiling at myself and picturing me and Sam becoming parents. We left the hospital a couple of hours later. These were said to be soft markers fo a range of trisomies, 2 of which were incompatible with life. And at the end of the day however much we talked about it - that it was going to be the two of us to make the decision and me to actually you know, go through it and decide that that was what was going to happen for him - and I just, I didn't want to do it. So we went home really and I sort of had to think about it all night. I was wondering if anyone has been is this situation and can give me a glimmer of hope. Has anyone been told the wrong sex at 20 week scan? As I lay down, and the sonographer started, I could see there was something wrong. My partner's face was lit up, seeing the baby for the first time. That he was small. We bought a two tests that evening (quite lucky as I messed the first one up!). I just feel very unlucky. And it all seemed so near at hand, you know, 31, 30 weeks, you feel like you're nearly, you're on the home stretch. I guess the morphine made it easier. It felt as if we'd gone underground, that we were part of the criminal fraternity. I think at that time she had come to terms better with the fact that this baby was going to be terminated, and I don't think I was quite there. And then, so I went to my next scan, which was the 20-week abnormality scan, and we took our first child with us, I think he was 17 months old at the time. We also use cookies set by other sites to help us deliver content from their services. It felt as if we had gone power crazy. Hugely upset that to think that the baby was so poorly. We went in, had a scan, I can't remember the exact sequence of events because the baby was still in the wrong position. I think I don't everything just seems a real blur because it was, it was such a strange experience. And, it does not occur to you in the slightest. But it was very evident. The results come in stages. In fact, interestingly enough, going sort of. Just wonder whether anyone had ever been told? So had to come back in a week's time for a scan, which again is quite a common thing I found out. I want to stop having such horrible thoughts. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. Just doing it. Our nightmare began when I went for my 20-week scan. They said the brain was okay -, We were in there for a matter of minutes, literally -, In and out. I didn't sleep that night I don't think. 'I was having nightmares and panic attacks. So we went back the day after Boxing Day, the 27th, and the consultant greeted us, which made my alarm bells go, and she started scanning us and I think her lines were, 'What concerns me about this baby is that they've got a diaphragmatic hernia, which has meant that part of the stomach of the baby was in its chest cavity.'. Well, at the regional hospital it was a 3-D scan. The scan looks for 11 different conditions in your baby and cannot find everything that might be wrong. But on, in the middle of March, 10th March it was, we had a 20 week scan. I hated my body and hated every feeling I was having. If you are offered further tests, you will be given more information about them so that you can decide whether or not you want to have them. In this information, the word we refers to the NHS service that provides screening. Sometimes specialist scans such as 3D scans, or MRI scans, are used to examine the baby in greater detail. You could see her face, and the major aspect that was, that was the indication of what was wrong was the thickening at the back of the neck in this instance, which, when you're looking at a fetus is, you know, sort of half a centimetre thicker or not is completely immaterial to me, and would look like a completely normal neck, but from the point of view of the consultant was severely abnormal. Actually you could tell from the brain development as he scanned up through the chambers of the brain, that one quarter of the brain, one chamber was not evident. But it's bloody hard being miserable the whole time. Because, when you're angry with the world for dealing you such a shit time, you begin to hate the people who populate it. It feels very lonely and isolating. Picture every packed football staduim up and down the country - all healthy pregnancies and births. We understand the real meaning of "shit happens". So he was about two weeks smaller than what he should have been. Some people had underestimated how serious any abnormality found at this stage could be for the baby. Immediately I knew what decision we should take. So at 20 weeks I went for my scan with my husband, with my daughter, to get our photographs. I was experiencing some light bleeding for the past few days. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. The doctor told me he was 98% sure this was a failing twin pregnancy. My mum arrived early to look after our son, and my partner and I got a cab to the hospital. We didn't feel we could tell anyone what was happening. I tried not to sit still for too long, because then I became too aware of the little thing inside me. So I was, they couldn't actually finish the scan then, the baby was moving around too much, so they couldn't scan the heart and the stomach. However, a few hours later there was another shift change. But worse was to come. 'Soft markers'. For women who have been given distressing news about their baby during the scan, there should be a health professional available to provide immediate support. I was becoming numb to the whole process. We had the baby cremated. We were convinced everything would be OK. And having read, since read my information on Edwards' syndrome, a good 85 per cent have problems with the heart. But it is a soft marker for Edwards' syndrome. I didn't want to be convincing him to agree with me. And still we asked to see a, Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans. The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests. We decided that we wanted medication to help me. No sort of questions about, 'Do you want to know whether it's a boy or a girl?' Any delay in receiving more information about the abnormality and its implications will be distressing for women and this should be acknowledged. All my plans were beginning to fall down. We had so much power, we could decide that this little thing should die. 15/02/2014 08:02. This is not what I imagined pregnancy to feel like', Baby Loss Awareness Week - Voice Five - Bryony Seabrook. You know there's always that bit on the bottom of the thing, 'These are diagnostics, do not bring other children,' - blah, blah, blah.. it's not, you know, it's not a family outing kind of thing, but it feels like it. So we left it there, and we didn't actually think that there was anything really to worry about after that scan. It's part of our family. We felt as if we were in limbo. Some of the conditions that can be seen on the scan will mean the baby may need treatment or surgery after it is born, for example cleft lip. Instead, we were shown to a room slightly away from the rest of the ward and the midwife stayed with us to talk through what was going to happen. Some things can be seen more clearly than others. We don't know, but it's not looking good'. It was probably all right but hadn't had any fluid in it at the moment. The scan will find about half (50%) of those babies who have heart defects. BabyCenter. I feel empty and incomplete. Possibly with hindsight we could have been more worried about it, but was probably a good thing we weren't, because we weren't worried about anything basically. 10/03/2021 16:13, @Cormoransjacket When I told him what had happened, he refused to believe anything was wrong and said he'd sort it out when he came home. On January 18, my baby was born, at 23 weeks - a little boy. Dont worry we wont send you spam or share your email address with anyone. In some cases concerns in utero fix themselves sometimes needs treatment. The same unique expression he had when he saw our two year old born. And with each one we had to have the same conversations. And as, and as soon as I saw the pictures of the scan, having had two normal pregnancies, even I could see that there was a marked contrast between this pregnancy and the pictures that I'd had previously. I think they perhaps could have done, if they had looked a bit closely. I've been incredibly lucky to have such amazing support from Sam, my mum, and close friends and family. Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier diagnostic tests (e.g. So it was quite common, this is what happens. . I mean, you just, you're just overwhelmed, it's so much fun. I travelled to work that day feeling amazing. I didn't want to go through anymore scans. It's a bit at the back of the brain and - no I can't remember what it is - it's called, it's something that's called Dandy-Walker mal, The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) have produced a report on Termination of Pregnancy for Fetal Abnormality in England, Scotland and Wales (May 2010). For many other women, the 18-20 week scan was the point at which they discovered the baby had serious problems. And for that whole time, my partner and I were both crying uncontrollably. Perhaps because we are alone in this, it has brought my partner and me very close. I let out an animal scream and [wife] kind of leapt onto me on the bed. Eventually, the doctor finished the scan and said that some of the baby's measurements were very small. The hardest thing I have ever done. Rather sharply, my partner tried to explain. I want to enjoy my son again, without any reservations. I'd had the scan in the scanning room, I can't remember what they call it now, it's silly, it's gone from my head. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), tbh, they never give you good news at scans. It was just a few little things like the kidneys were hard to find, and the stomach was hard to find, but that might be because it wasn't filled with fluid. I give pregnant women dirty looks. And so, yeah we got to, carried on with the pregnancy, kept seeing the consultant, kept sitting in the waiting room outside, because there was a terribly long waiting time sometimes, depending on what time you had the appointment. We didn't name him. Why me and not you, you bastard? They sort of drew some diagrams, and they said, 'But we need to refer you to a specialist to confirm the diagnosis'. And the first few things they said it didn't sound as thing, as though things were terribly wrong. He sounded like a wild animal in pain, deep pain. So at least then we went to that next stage prepared for the worst really. But here I was, minutes later, lying down, waiting. And I, my husband and I both ran our own business at the time so we were desperate to get back and do some work, and things were going really well, so.. factor is very strong. Some hospitals do offer earlier anomaly scans of the baby, but they will not show as much detail as scans performed between 18 and 20weeks. I then had to wait in the room along with many other patients for an hour so they could observe me. When I see a child with Down's syndrome, I have a tremendous need to explain myself and apologise a million times over. An appointment should be arranged as soon as possible and ideally within three working days. And that was Monday afternoon. There's nothing wrong, you know, we've had all the tests, everything's fine,' and being very upbeat about it all. We had amnio and then spent a week in absoute anguish waiting for the outcome which was no trisomies. He wanted to talk about it, but I didn't. That they could have spotted something, or not? . We scattered his ashes over a bunch of snowdrops. I was then told yet again bad news. Two days, after on Christmas Eve, (my 12 week date) I had more blood tests. It is also sometimes referred to as the mid-pregnancy scan . Slightly marked from our peers. So even if anomolies are found, they don't always mean a problem.. x. I had issues at the 20 weeks scan with both of mine. If necessary, you will be referred to a specialist, possibly in another hospital. She describes having to make a . As I say, I'm not a very nice person at the moment. We were denying him his life. There was cause for concern. And I couldn't escape the feeling that I was being selfish. Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommys Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. Tissue paper will be tucked around your clothing to protect it from the ultrasound gel, which will then be put on your tummy. Some stories I hear are amazing! I had an appointment with my consultant 2 days later, and again he said, you know, 'Very common - shouldn't worry about it too much, you know, if, the problem is if they find anything else wrong'. I wasn't unduly worried at all. And again, you know, you read all the books and it tells you 'this is the diagnostics', but after a while you don't hear that inside your head any more No, no, no, I'm fine - because everything's perfect. We're still not at the end of our journey, but we're much further along. Being deeply unhappy and kind to others at the same time is nigh on impossible. 20 week scans look for 11 different anomalies as a rule, however, indicators (markers) are not terribly reliable and in all the literature I found, the targets set for stonographers look like they only pick up around 50% or less of these variants. When I think about how long it took them to deliberate ultimately, maybe not, but it just felt like a bit of a fast food situation, didn't it? Tommys is a registered charity in England and Wales (1060508) and Scotland (SC039280). We, I was with my mum, and they scanned and found choroid plexus cysts on the brain, which is just a mark, it's a marker on the brain, it's a, what they call a 'soft marker'. It is also sometimes referred to as the mid-pregnancy scan. And, for a few hours, I'm convinced I've made a terrible mistake. And so this one can't tell you anything, it's pictures, you're going, you're going to see your baby, you're going to get pictures. The sonographer will be able to tell you the results of the scan at the time. Somehow, I walked from the sofa up to the bathroom and told my partner. We would terminate the pregnancy. I took my vitamins, stuck to the healthy diet and put on a brave face. Then, three days later, I would go to the labour ward - the ward I had been expecting to visit in two and a half months. Or, at the very least, heart problems. And even at that early stage it was beginning to sink in that there was something really not right. So we went home, me to rest in an attempt to prevent miscarriage, my partner to reassure us both. Most hospitals do not allow children to attend scans as childcare is not usually available. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. Despite this new discovery, the sonographer was still concerned. So I sort of went home quite, fairly kind of happy and I, at, at this point I hadn't any idea things could go wrong anyway. The doctor didn't come. And attribute some blame to them. We're going to go and see them. Sam reassured me, but the guilt had hit me along with the feeling that our world was falling apart. Again, no notes can have been written down because the midwife asked the same question. I was booked back in to discuss management options, if nothing had happened. This short video explains screening for 11 physical conditions in pregnancy. DS had 2 soft markers: talipes (club foot) and 'echogenic locii' somewhere - heart I think.
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